#listening to nonsense: ask meme

[carriesthewind]

Good evening everyone! As I said in an answer to a previous ask, there wasn't a public call-in line to listen to the Show Cause Hearing in Mata v Avianca (the ChatGBT lawyer case) today.

However, while we are waiting for a transcript of the hearing (because there was a court reporter! yay!) and a written decision by the judge, we did get this absolutely anxiety-inducing live tweet of the hearing:

(Caveat: this thread was not an official transcript of the hearing and should not be taken as such. It is possible the actual events and statements made in the hearing differ significantly from this report - i.e., take this with a grain of salt and reserve final judgement for the actual transcript.)

I'll put the full thread with some (light) commentary below the cut.* But the overall impression I am left with is that the judge seems to feel this pair of attorneys are treating their duty of candor toward the tribunal with the same seriousness with which they are treating their duty of competence to their clients. (And in this case, that's a very bad thing.)

*The full thread except for a soon-to-follow part 2 because I ran out of space for images again.

(All of the following screenshots are from the above tweet thread by Inner City Press @ innercitypress on twitter, made on June 8, 2023.)

Normally I would overlook that "you, personally," but in this case, you really get the feeling that the judge is concerned that LoDuca might just start talking about what Schwartz did again.

Establishing LoDuca's base of knowledge - he should know how to look up cases and check if they are real; he should know what a real case looks like.

The March 1 submission was the plaintiff's opposition to the motion to dismiss, where they first cited the fake cases.

How bad this answer is depends, I think, on LoDuca's wording here. Best case scenario, his statement about Schwartz was a specific statement about what inquiry was reasonable for him to do under the circumstances (which - for that first filing - I think is actually a reasonable argument. You don't expect your colleague to just make up cases). Worst case, this reads like him trying to wiggle out of his obligations. I will withhold judgement until I see the official transcript.

Rule 11, by the way, refers to Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Rule 11(b) states:

(If you remember the Order to Show Cause, we are dealing with a Rule 11(b)(2) issue here. Rule 11(c) allows the court to impose sanctions for violations of Rule 11(b))

Oh no, bad answer. (If anyone reading this is good at photoshop, I cannot express how badly I want a version of the "this sign can't stop me because I can't read" meme with the sign being the quote from defendant's reply where they say, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it.")

Oh that is not a good way of characterizing those orders. (Those were the orders, remember, where the Court said, "By April 18, 2022, Peter LoDuca, counsel of record for plaintiff, shall file an affidavit annexing copies of the following cases cited in his submission to this Court: as set forth herein. Failure to comply will result in dismissal of the action pursuant to Rule 41 (b), Fed. R. Civ. P.")

I would simply perish on the spot.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my original attempted summary of "Varghese" - the first paragraph states that it is a wrongful death suit by the widow of the passenger. Then the second paragraph states that the passenger was denied boarding on a flight due to overbooking and thus missed his connecting flight and therefore incurred additional expenses. The case was such nonsense that I legitimately forgot about that inconsistency by the time I got to the end.

Your honor I plead "2 stupid 2 sanction."

(I believe the "different fonts" is in reference to the April 25 affidavit, in which the case names - and some of the surrounding text - are in a different font from most of the text in the affidavit. It seems like this is because they may have been copied straight from ChatGPT. See e.g., #3 below. It's hard to tell just based on this twitter thread, though.)

A short and simple answer! You did it!

"I have all the answers I need" is not a good sentence in this context.

Very genuinely: shorter is better here. At least I don't think he hurt himself with that statement.

Judge Castel: How do you conduct legal research?

Schwartz: I research cases.

Judge Castel: Do you read them?

Schwartz: Well, I may have once upon a time, but after hearing you ask that question in this context, I have decided to retire from the practice of law forever and also possibly sink into the ground and die. Also, by answering "yes," here, I just realized that I'm either admitting that I read the cases I submitted and therefore must have known they were fake, or else I just possibly committed perjury. Oh shit oh fuck.

Oh god I'm cringing myself into a pretzel just reading this.

Hey, by the way? You can actually use google (esp. google scholar) to do legal research. (It's not a good tool and you will miss things, but it will do in a pinch.) But. Um. If you know that...why didn't you double check your cases at very least on google when you were told they seemed to be made up?

So, once again, I am going to withhold judgement until I see the actual transcript. That said, if Schwartz did say this, I would like to compare it briefly to a part of the chat transcript he provided to the court. Here is the first question asked about the Montreal Convention in the provided transcript:

"analysis"

Oh god. I can't even provide commentary on this one. I hope this is worse than the actual transcript will prove to be. I'm reading through my fingers like I'm watching a horror movie.

"Misperception" (or "misconception") doesn't work once you have evidence that should cause you to doubt - like not being able to find a case that was supposedly published in the Federal fucking Reporter.

This is overshooting "2 stupid 2 sanction" into "too stupid to function."* You either looked for "Varghese" or you didn't. If you looked for "Varghese," it is not credible that you continued to have a good faith assumption that ChatGPT couldn't lie. If you didn't look up "Varghese," you just lied to the Court under oath.

*Just to be clear: for an ordinary person, this would be a very understandable lack of knowledge issue. A lawyer has no excuse not to know this.

Judge Castel: Mr. Schwartz, I think you have the fucking audacity to try to lie to me to my face in my fucking courtroom.

Honestly at this point I'm surprised he could still talk. I think screaming, "I'm melting, I'm melting!" as he vanished into steam, leaving his crumpled suit behind, would be an appropriate response.

NO.

Oh no, oh honey.

Ok. Two options here (again, assuming he actually fucking said "They said they couldn't find them," in response to the Court asking, "When Avianca said you cited non existent cases?"):

Schwartz is once again trying to purposefully downplay what the defendant's reply brief actually said and dodge responsibility.

Schwartz honestly, truly believes that when the defendant filed a reply containing the line, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it," they were just asking for assistance with their legal research?!??!

I honestly don't know which is worse.

Oh no....

Oh man, I haven't gone over it here yet, but I think that "I looked up the judge" is a panicked attempt at bringing up a talking point the Professional Responsibility Lawyers raised in their memorandum of law. (Again, I'm giving this reading of his response with the caveat that it is based only on this thread, not the official transcript, which might read very differently and contain different/more info.) The Professional Responsibility attorneys noted in a footnote that two of the judges listed in the "opinion," including the "author," were actual 11th circuit judges, and the other is an actual 5th circuit judge. My read of this footnote was as an extra little detail tossed in by the Professional Responsibility attorneys to try to dress up their argument that the "opinions" had various "indicia of authenticity."

But here's the problem. If Schwartz is telling the truth - if he was reading carefully and critically enough that he bothered to look up the judge (why would you do that if you didn't think the case might be fake?!) there is no way he could have missed that the case was gibberish. Again, if this is really what he said at the hearing, he either lied in the hearing, or he must have know the "opinions" were bogus when he gave them to LoDuca to file.

"Did it cross your mind" - if the court actually said this, oh my god.

Hey, that's the point that I made in my original post(s)!

This whole thing about the "+h" to "th" with the notary date is from the recent affidavits filed on 6/6/23, you can read them about them if you want, I'll be honest, I don't really care as much about the notary stuff so I'm going to skip it for the moment.

....and I've run out of space for images again. Part II to follow shortly!

[kneelingshadowsalome]

literally can't stop thing about highschoolsweetheart!au where darling is 24/7 clinging onto a slightly annoyed/frustrated könig's arm, autistically chatting his ear off about random things like cute cat videos that she saw, dinosaurs or art, gushing about how much she loves him, how utterly handsome he's looking and that they're absolutely meant to be!! 🥺 always nuzzling him and pressing sweet kisses to his face.

until... maybe he snaps and shuts her up :// not in a nice way. maybe i'm projecting here, but i've been silenced before and it did nasty things to me. (bit of advice for unknowing peeps, don't make autistic people stop rambling, if you can help it. let them down gently if you must 💌)

back to our sheep... she suddenly shuts in. doesn't chat as much as before, slowly sticking to only utilitarian stuff. avoids his gaze oftenly, gradually starting to keep her distance, stops initiating affectionate things. she still absolutely adores him, but she's hurt, heart constricting in her chest. thinks she's doing him a service by listening to his 'request' at shutting the hell up, thinking she's making him happier. she's still itching to babble, making an active effort at stoping herself from going back to her rambling habits.

how would könig feel? react?

imagine what would it be like, if after some time of this distance, at a social gathering or something, he sees a man approaching her. another MAN!! how is this possible?? and he's... he's asking her about things? looking interested in her talk, eyeing her up and down??

would you do me the honour of tormenting this poor man for me? :33

Her ramblings were cute at first, then they started to go in one ear and out the other. König has a budding tinnitus from work and only wants to rest, but she skitters to him like a lovesick cat, climbs into his lap, and starts to talk his ear off about attachment styles and some pop psychology.

The enthusiasm in her eyes is what bothers him the most – he’s hit with envy, bright hot and red, because he has no time for intellectual interests these days. There's nothing but gun oil and gym to keep him busy. He was supposed to become either a philosopher or a fighter, but since they said philosophers can’t get pussy, he chose the other option (and still got little to no pussy), sad wanker as he was back then.

He either doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about or, he would want to discuss with her about the subjects she’s into, so much in fact that it would soon become an autistic competition of its own. But the deeply ingrained memory of being called a scrawny nerd is keeping his mouth shut even now, when he’s approaching his mid-thirties.

So he tells her she should read an actual book about the subject and stop filling her head with nonsense layman theories.

It hurts; it fucking burns, the mute, helpless stare she shoots at him. She scoots away, sorely upset, and won’t come back to him before the evening fall.

There's no cute noises and kisses peppered all over his face, no dangling from his neck and prattling away about the differences between C. S. Lewis and Tolkien; no videos where a cat tries to fish the last pringles with its paw or memes that remind her of him. There's just a broken girl and a knife in his heart, but he’s too ashamed and proud to apologize.

And so she comes back to him when he won't go to her, the deep yearning always overthrowing her pride. It feeds his self loath by gallons: she's better than him, always has been.

She hugs his middle when they lie down to sleep, forehead pressed against his upper back. She’s too small to reach the back of his neck, but she won’t wriggle upwards like an adorable little worm to place a kiss there like she used to. Just falls asleep with a sigh, holding him tight.

His sleep arrives only after hours have passed, and the knife inside his heart has finally done its duty and euthanized the whole organ.

They never talk about it: but she prattles far less nonsense to him now. He nearly breaks the silence one day and asks her about the Myers Pigs test or whatever it was called, see if she would crack open from her shell and laugh. He could coax her to tell him what her newest interest is nowadays, what makes her eyes bright and shiny when he’s away. But he’s too fucking ashamed, too goddamm proud to tell her that she’s annoyingly cute when she talks so much and that he fucking loves her for that. That she’s the silliest girl he’s ever met and if he had a hat, he would take it off every time she wanted to share another monologue.

If he had the balls, he would ask if she had all this madness inside her when they were kids but never had the courage to spill it out… If he's the only person she has allowed to see this side of her without fear.

...

He returns to the party after having a smoke – a bad habit everytime he knows he's about to down a few beers – only to see she’s engaged in a heated conversation with some other guy.

Or, the guy is asking questions, while his girl is about to burst out of her dress from the eagerness to tell him everything about some new hyperfixation of hers. Something she hasn’t really shared with him; not anymore...

The knife is still in his heart, it seems, because it twists. Violently.

He looks for a weapon to defend himself: an empty beer bottle, a knife on the table, an untended umbrella by the door; his fists, ungloved. It’s just a routine check, a simple habit that was hammered in his system years ago, and of course this is not the time or the place for violence. He just… fantasizes about stabbing that guy in the liver with some blunt cutlery, pounding his ribs to pieces until his knuckles bleed with jealousy. He even fantasizes her screams when she sees what kind of a man he really is: a weak wanker who turned into a pitiful beast of a man.

These flashes take only a second or two, then he squares his shoulders and goes to get his girl back.

“How about we dance,” he offers his hand to her, palm up like the other guy was made of air – or not even that.

Her eyes light up with surprise, pure, undiluted hope, her interest in her chat companion now completely gone.

“You... You want to dance?”

His lips compress into a thin line, his nostrils flaring from the need to either claim her right on this floor or turn and beat the competing dick beside him into a pulp.

Then her hand finds his, her soft little smile pulls him back, her eyes now shining to him and only him.

It’s a slow one, the song, and he only notices it when she lifts her hands and cups the back of his neck. Tingles shoot down his spine and send a curious little twitch down his dick – even his testes pull up a notch. They’ve fucked a thousand times, and still, she has this effect on him... All she needs to do is smile and touch his neck, and his body answers; he’s hers.

“Does this mean you like me…?” She asks with a playful smile when his hands come to naturally claim her waist.

“...What?”

“You saw me with that guy and came to whisk me away.”

He tries to avoid her stare, fakes to steal a glimpse at the other pairs dancing, but it’s challenging when she looks at him like… like that.

“He was drooling all over you back there,” he mutters.

“...Oh? So you came to save me?”

“You have difficulty saying no.”

She's relaxed, while he's stiff, the adrenaline leaving him slowly and with a rising boner. It doesn't help that she's drawing little circles on his skin, right there where it tickles and sends more pulls down his cock.

He tries to breathe deep and slow, but it doesn’t really work much. There are times when he gets a hard-on from her playing with his hair or brushing a set of fingertips across his nipple, and then there are times when he really wishes she wouldn’t do shit like this. Not when they’re at a party and he almost had a temper tantrum in front of everyone.

“König… You never dance,” she says with a weighted stare. He answers it with a heavy glare of his own, eyes that should tell her enough about his true feelings for her.

There’s a thin line between love and hate, but never has he felt this undeniable truth as acutely as he has with her...

“If you don’t stop with the tickling I’m going to have to take you upstairs for a fuck.”

Her tiny little fingers stop immediately, but her eyes shine brighter than ever before. From shock, love, or awe, who knows. Then she picks up that annoying habit again, a bit too keenly to convey any kind of actual fear.

“You’re begging for it, aren’t you...?” He comments with genuine contempt.

“...Yes?” She answers with a breath of a smile, pure love in her stare.

He grunts as if tired, then scoops her up, right there on the dance floor and takes her upstairs when everyone can see.

“You like me. Admit it,” she babbles when he carries her inside some guest bedroom and kicks the door shut, with her snug and smiling in his arms.

“Yes, yes. You can tell me all about everything when I’m done with you.”

“All about everything?” She giggles as he throws her on the bed and starts to take off his shirt. Her eyes shoot to his pecs, then to his fingers when he unzips his pants. There's no lie, no deceit in that stare, just adoration and want.

“First you have to be quiet. Think you can manage that?”

She opens her pink little mouth, then shuts it, starts to nod like a broken doll.

When he eventually slides in, the poor doll whimpers, just like he thought.

"Hush," he gruffs, but doesn't cover her mouth.

He can have a little taste, a sip, a treat... Because the knife in his heart stops rattling only when he makes love to her – he does that often, even if he calls it 'fucking' in his mind.

[livelaughloveloak]

𓂅 WISHUROSES ⊰ 🎡

𖦹 pairing : earth1610!miles morales x reader

𖦹 summary : random scenarios and headcanons of miles as your boyfriend

𖦹 author's note : y'all I'm literally running out of ideas so I would appreciate it if you guys sent me some requests 😭 btw this isn't proofread

you and him definitely have a snapstreak but it was on accident. he randomly snapped you and you'd snap him back on a daily so now you two are just stuck with a 200+ snapstreak.

he bought you a Polaroid camera for your birthday and you ended up using up most of the film on him.

you have the pictures up on the board hanging up in your room

HE'S A COMPLETE SWEET HEARTTTT through actions or through text he'll show his love for you either way.

you pulled back from the tight hug miles pulled you into and looked up at his face. "miles you have that smug look on your face again." you poked his cheek and laughed. miles gasped and was quick to defend himself although he was in fact smiling like an idiot. "I do not!!"

if he's not busy with spiderman business, school, family problems, or hanging out with you then he's busy texting you instead.

he might go to an advanced private school but he refuses to write sentences properly.

you'd receive messages from him like these

inaminit

whaddup

nuhuh

luv u

wya?

he'll abuse the living hell out of emojis when texting you

"yup 😎😎😎😎😎😎💪💪💪"

"wdym no ☹️☹️😒😒🤨🤨🤨"

omw Mami 😋😋😋🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿

he'll ask you for help when it's washday for his hair. his scalp is sensitive so you make sure to be extra careful

he has your contact saved as mi alma. one time his mom saw the contact name pop up on his phone and questioned him about it. he freaked out and started blabbering nonsense

he tells you stories about his adventures when his uncle aaron was still alive.

he has a picture of you as his wallpaper and a pic of you guys together as his lockscreen

he draws you two matching pfps

will definitely give you a new drawing everytime he can

was sweating bullets when he finally revealed to you that he was spiderman.

the pressure was quickly lifted off of his shoulders once you said that you accepted him and understood.

he's still scared that you'd be his canon event and swears he'll never let you die

"even if I have to destroy this universe as long as you're alive I'll be alright." you pinched his cheek and smiled. "don't be silly miles" a groan escaped his mouth as you giggled. "mami stopppp I'm being serious right now."

he let's you win in games just to see you happy but if it's basketball he's not gonna hold back 😭🙏

has his face buried in your neck while sleeping. he says it's because "I'm cold and you just happen to be warm" but yet again it's the middle of summer.

will be jumping up and down our of joy when you bought him new Jordans for his birthday

he has a bracelet with your name engraved into it and he wears it proudly

his phone album is filled with pictures of you. you and him fight eachother whenever you catch him trying to take a candid 0.5 picture of you

he 100% calls you "my heart"

says the most old man type of comebacks when playfully arguing with you

"yeah well you can go kick rocks!!"

"boohoo buckaroo"

"too bad so sad"

"nuh uh" or in other times "yuh huh"

"whatever pal"

"listen here buddy"

you two wear matching pajamas when you have sleepovers

don't get me started on this man and saying the "rizz" jokes...

"rizzanator is what I am"

"let's have a rizz off"

"call me the rizzmaster"

he'll airdrop you the most random memes and burst out laughing when seeing your reaction

he gifted you a promise ring with both of your initials engraved into it as an anniversary gift

miles won you a teddy bear in a fair and now you both call it your "child"

don't expect to get a warning because miles will randomly FaceTime you out of nowhere.

he'd give you a spiderman suit so you could match with him

when you first met his mom she liked you without hesitation and asked to take a picture with you. she made miles take the picture 😭

overall a sweet guy and will give you the princess treatment you deserve!!

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

July 4, 2023 | All rights reserved to @livelaughloveloak • Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own. ✮

art in the polaroids are made by purpletunabread on twitter and koscribbls on instagram

[starberry-cupcake]

I come here with further updates on my gideon the ninth read as per the favorable responses in my previous shares . You asked for it, so you're gonna have to hear it (@lady-harrowhark maybe you'll have fun with this one)

previously, in gideon the ninth:

this happened

currently, having just finished chapter 29:

gideon had tea with the eighth

actually no, scratch that, gideon sat in a chair while mayonnaise uncle's hair got braided, they never got to the tea part

false advertising

mayonnaise uncle gave half info, as people seem to like doing here

duracell bunny nephew stepped up and called him out

good for him, actually

you go, duracell bunny nephew!

it's gonna end terribly for him, but we stan

gideon left that Situation and found teacher saying ominous things

gideon left that Other Situation and found regina george twin being intense with swords

chad came in and she bit him

I see a trend alert with these third necromancers and the biting

gideon left that Yet Another Situation and went to the ninth room

gideon proceeded to open the closet

gideon got brad pitt-ed in the movie seven, but instead of gwyneth paltrow's head it was protesilaus'

it's not gideon's best day

now, hear me out

I know how this will sound, but hear me out

I haven't read past this scene, I haven't started chapter 30, all I know is she found the box

but hear me out here

just, just listen

hear me out

I still blame dulcinea

no, no, come back, I have a theory

I don't trust her, she's shady, she's too suspiciously fake kind, she's desperate and she has mentioned wanting gideon as a cavalier

I think it was back when gideon was turned into a blood sprinkler during the whole temple run key second trial thingy

or maybe later, after jeannemary left the mortal plain, but she said it at some point

and gideon has told harrow she wants her to free her to be dulcinea's cavalier

which, over my dead body

or maybe not, people here are dropping like flies, but anyway

dulcinea knows things others don't seem to know

she says things that gideon doesn't follow up on because she's horny and dense (affectionately)

I don't trust dulcinea

in case that wasn't clear

so what if

hear me out

seriously, I swear I have a point

what if harrow was set up?????

no, no, come back, listen, listen

gideon said something like the box wasn't well hidden

and I doubt very very very much that if harrowhark harrowldine harrowmina nonagesimus would have ended a bitch, she would have half-assed anything, much less the hiding

like, she'd either kill in plain sight and make a show of it or make it disappear and nobody would know

harrowhark harroweena harrowline nonagesimus pulled an edward and alphonse on her parents and only 3 people know she did

the entire system of these houses is unaware of that fact, as far as I know

so, if she wanted to hide a murder, I think, I hope, she would do better than this

also, keeping a head in a box doesn't seem her style, that's very haunted mansion and she's more halloween horror nights

so

what if she's been set up????

and gideon has like 3 brain cells working right now so she might fall for it??? hopefully not but maybe????

and side with my mortal enemy dulcinea instead?????

am I crazy????

am I too latina for this and seeing things???

is dulcinea the soraya montenegro of this story??? or is it me??? am I the drama???

this might all be absolute nonsense and in like 1 chapter I might be proven wrong but I don't trust dulcinea del toboso the seventh and I never will

if you pictured the always sunny meme while reading, that's the right energy I'm trying to share here

[valeriele3]

While listening to Guy.exe I got reminded of the edits/memes with the song like those fake texts thing sooo..

(I’m too lazy to make it into a fake text so here and yes, I mean to put “you” not “Yuu”)

Warning: Cringe

Ace: Alright! We’ve gathered everyone here today to ask the prefect..What their type is!

Leona: Who cares about the herbivores type..I’m gonna go yawn plus that dragon bastard is here

Ace: Nope! No one’s getting out of this room until we get our answer!

Vil: Not everyone has the time for your shenanigans

Deuce: Guys! The prefects on their way

——————————————

Ace: (serious face) Prefect..I— We have a very important question that only you can answer

You: What is it..?

Ace: What’s your type?

You: …

Deuce: Well?

You: ..Are you serious right now?

ADeuce: Very serious

You: You made me run all the way over here panicking just to answer this question?!

Ace: Yes yes yes I may have exaggerated a bit but answer the question!

You: I— Fine.

You: My type is.. Wait what if I..do that thing?Surely that song doesn’t exist here?

Everyone waits with a bated breath

You: A picture perfect guy..

You: Where all the boys at with emotional stability?

Deuce: What’s emotional stability..?

You: Nice car, a ceo, and almost just as smart as me

Kalim: Oh! I have a lot of cars!

Ace: Pfft..Smart..You want someone as dumb as you? Smack Ow!

You: Shut up..Ahem..Back to what I was saying

You: Where all the boys at with financial security?

You: A doctor,

Heartslabyul gang: Dorm leader?!

Riddle: E-Eh..?! What nonsense are you talking about?! Off with your head!

You: A model, a man of possibilities

Epel: Vil-San?!

Vil: You have good taste Potato

You: They say, “expectations are too high, and you’ll never find a guy like that. It’s driving you mad honey,”

Ace: Because it is high! Smack

You: They say that “It’s just a waste of time, get your head out of the sky”

You: But why?

You: Oh I, wish I could synthesize, a picture perfect guy, oh I, oh I..

(At this point you’ve started fully singing and going to guys who fit the description)

You: Six feet tall and super strong

Leona: Hm?

You: We’d always get along, alright, hugs Jack alright

Jack: … (Jack has stopped functioning. Press the button to send help)

You: Ooh, he’d pick me up at eight, and not a minute late

You: ‘Cause I don’t like to wait, no

Malleus: Smile

You: Kind and ain’t afraid to cry

Kalim: gasp Jamil! Jamil! Do I really fit that description?!

Jamil: sigh yes

You: Or treat his momma right

Deuce: O-Oh..But I’ve hurt my mother a lot before

Trey: Ah..Thank you Prefect

You: That’s right, that’s what I like

You: I need a man who don’t get jealous ‘less I want him to

Cater: Oh? Yay~! Selfie! #ThePrefectsType #selfiewiththeprefect

You: A gentleman to take care of me in the bedroom

You: Romantic love but keep it rough, am I asking too much?

Everyone: …

Leona: I know how to keep it romantic and rough. I can show you right now if you wanted to smirk

Malleus: I suggest you keep your hands off of what’s mine Kingscholar

Lilia: Fufu~ I know just how to keep it romantic and rough Darling

Silver: Fa— Lilia-Sama! Σ('◉ ⌓ ◉’)

Everyone started fighting bickering on who can keep it the most romantic and rough in bed

Grim: FFGNA! No one’s going to bed my henchman! You need my approval first! Shoo shoo!

[lunatic-pudge]

Tf2 characters reactions to skibidi toilet?

This ask scares me. I think it has to do with the fact that I never understood skibidi toilet, and that means I'm starting to disconnect from the youth. I am becoming the old man who doesn't understand memes.

BUT, since you asked, most of the mercs would be so confused by it. A toilet with a head coming out of it and singing, they're so old and don't understand how people find it entertaining.

I feel like the entire offense class would enjoy it to varying degrees. Scout loves to use it as a way to annoy everyone around him. Constantly blaring it at the worst times. He ends up getting his devices confiscated by Heavy for a while until he learns to knock it off (spoiler alert: he doesn't learn and keeps getting his devices taken). Soldier doesn't understand but thinks it's rather entertaining. His rather nonexistent brain has interpreted it as American propaganda and uses it to show off how great his country is. Bless his heart, he means well even if he isn't the brightest. Now Pyro likes it cause of the music. They aren't too fond of the weird animations and tend to only listen to the audio. They're the only one that's kind enough to have it blasting for everyone to hear.

Now, the defense class. Demo is typically too drunk to really understand nor care about ilwhat the hell is going on. His intoxicated brain barely comprehends the he's looking at (only focusing on actual important things like booze, bombs, and his wife Soldier). But he can get annoyed with it rather quick if he hears it playing on a loop. He has threatened to break Scout's phone after hearing it play for the tenth time back to back. He's very serious with his threats and will strap the phone to a bomb and explode it. Poor Demo is just trying to relax and have a good time. Heavy is just plain confused. He just views it as kids being weird and usually ignores it. He'll hide out in Medic's to avoid having to deal with it. But he's also the main person to put a "timeout" on the skibidi. Engie is also confused but is just too busy to care. You can show him it, and he'll be like, "That's nice, son." while continuing to fix his sentry. (He didn't even look at the phone, typical dad behavior). He's pretty chill when Pyro is playing it cause they know how to be respectful.

And finally, the most "I'm not dealing with this shit" class: support. The plus side these goobers have is that they all have a way to hide from the BS. Medic is the least vocal of the support, opting to instead watch the chaos of other people yelling for him. If anything, he'll just tell them how they're gonna rot their brain out with such nonsense. He refuses to let skibidi toilet be played in his lab. He doesn't want his doves to be exposed to such brainrot. Now I can see two different things happening with Sniper. 1. He yells at Scout and Solider to shut up, or 2. While not being a fan of skibidi toilet, uses it to annoy people like Spy (or maybe even to use it to get what he wants). Now remember, Sniper's the second youngest merc and an only child. He's just as goofy as someone like Scout. He just doesn't show it often. This would be one of those times where his goofiness shows. And finally, Spy, he just ain't having it. Devices will go missing in the middle of the night and will not be seen again. He is constantly yelling at Scout and Soldier (and the occasional Sniper) about how annoying and childish they are. He's surprised with how he's been able to deal with it. He feels like he's always on the edge of killing everyone cause of how fed up he is.

[blacksailskmeme]

Black Sails Kink Meme 2024 Round Up: March

Hello piratefam!

We've had an exceptionally prolific kickoff month for the event: over 100 prompts and twelve delicious fills already for March!! Wow!! :D :D Thank you all so very much for diving into the splash zone of raunchy smut with such enthusiasm!

I've decided to do a round up post for each month the kink meme is live, showcasing those fills submitted to the collection monthly. So here ya go, all the fics submitted in March gathered in one place for your convenience and enjoyment! 😌✨

--

In The Space Between, SilverFlintHam, 2470 words

(For Prompt #13. "Thomas and Flint spitroast Silver. Modern AU. Bonus points for Silver begging like a cheap whore and Thomas being the practical one after, while Flint just wants to cuddle in his papa-bear, protective mode.")

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And I could close the curtain but this is too much fun, MadiSilverFlint, 1260 words

(For prompt #37 - Flint/Madi, Silver - voyeurism, jealousy. Silver catches them fucking)

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shifting sands, Maxanor, 1812 words

(For Prompt 29: s3/4 or therebouts, Eleanor goes on her knees for Max and eats her out in That Fucking Chair)

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Of Poets and Writers, SilverFlint, 8758 words

(For prompt #31. SilverFlint mod AU. Silver is a poet, shopping at a bookstore and overhears a book reading/author signing. He’s drawn in by THE VOICE and heads over to the event only to be instantly in lust with Flint, reading from his debut novel. He listens, then grabs a copy of Flint’s book and one of his own poetry collections off the shelf and purchases them, borrowing a pen from the bookseller. He hops in line for the signing and while he waits, he writes something extremely filthy on the dedication page of his collection, complete with his phone number. He exchanges books with Flint, who looks bemused, but doesn’t read the inscription immediately. He HAD, however, noticed the gorgeous man in the back of the small crowd with the pre-Raphaelite curls and Caribbean blue eyes. He signs Silver’s copy and thanks him for coming. Silver watches him for a few more minutes and then grabs a coffee before heading for the door. Before he reaches it, he gets a text from Flint, who’s finally opened the volume of poetry. They head to Flint’s hotel and he proceeds to just absolutely take Silver apart and then surprising Silver by bottoming. Rimming, topping from the bottom, dirty talk, just very vocal enjoyment from two men incredibly good with words.)

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When I said I'll return to you, I meant more like a relapse, Maxanor, 3023 words

(For prompt #22: Maxanor, post break up, nasty hatefuck with your ex over That Fucking Chair. Bonus if s3 or s4, extra bonus if there's a strap and Max makes Eleanor beg for it bent over the desk, extra extra bonus if Eleanor cries)

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Indulgence, SilverFlint, 2306 words

(Prompt #20: Silver, canon era, being completely HOT about Flint's belly (circa season 4) when they're alone. Hotness ensues (kissing, licking, sucking, slobbering, coming all over it, completely unhinged LUST). Bonus points if Filnt's a bit shy about it)

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Pressure, SilverFlint, 4504 words

(prompt # 57: Silverflint, piss kink/omorashi - Flint REALLY needs to piss during a long ass meeting, Silver notices, stays behind after everyone else finally leaves and drags it out as long as he can by asking nonsensical questions. Eventually Flint is pushed to breaking point and Silver takes over 😈 bonus points for imagery of Flint standing white knuckled gripping the back of his chair, (unsuccessfully) trying to hide his discomfort from Silver 😌)

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Relief, SilverFlint, 4708 words

(prompt # 57: Silverflint, piss kink/omorashi - Flint REALLY needs to piss during a long ass meeting, Silver notices, stays behind after everyone else finally leaves and drags it out as long as he can by asking nonsensical questions. Eventually Flint is pushed to breaking point and Silver takes over 😈 bonus points for imagery of Flint standing white knuckled gripping the back of his chair, (unsuccessfully) trying to hide his discomfort from Silver 😌)

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Breaking The Girl (heart of stone, mind of gold, your tongue is made of sword), Flint/Eleanor, 10,723 words

(For PROMPT #61: Pre canon, a younger Eleanor has a crush on the New Captain on the Block (Flint) who appears as if by magic to fill the power vacuum left by Captain Teach after she and Vane oust him. Eleanor's relationship with Vane is on the rocks not too long after as she continues to nurse her secret illicit infatuation for Captain Flint, who she champions on the island to help him consolidate power. She flirts drunkenly with Flint, until one night she just throws herself at him. He's trying to be so gracious, the crush is very one-sided, but he tries to help her through it sweetly, but she's not having it. She wants it rough and dirty.

I wanna see Weird Dynamics, part mentor-mentee part father-daughter part daddy kink part huge crush on a professor vibes. I want Flint to keep trying to slow her down and be sweet and Eleanor fighting him the whole way. Toxic weirdness and big age difference, thank you very much!!)

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New Horizons In The Dark, Flint/Maroon Queen, 4405 words

(For prompt #58: S3 or S4, Flint trying to jerk off in his appointed quarters on Maroon Island and the Queen walks in on him unannounced to summon him to a meeting, he is MORTIFIED, but then she stands there and orders him to continue as she watches

And she says he better do a good job so that he can actually pay attention to their strategy meeting

So basically the Queen orders him to come hard

And she'll scold him for being distracted and that he needs to take care of himself more often, and that if he has trouble or waits too long her door is always open 👀👀👀

Bonus if somewhere in here, maybe after, they talk about/bond over having both lost spouses and that it's a lonely life and there's no sense in being so lonely)

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To Be Underestimated is an Incredible Gift, Miranda/Rackham, 4655 words

(For the prompt #78: Miranda Barlow/Jack Rackham, yep, that's the main pairing. pre-canon era, Miranda lives AU, who knows? your choice! you can bring Anne in, and/or Flint, if you want. bonus points for kinkiness.)

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As a Boy, Admiral Hennessey/James McGraw, 5126 words

(For prompt #24: Pre-canon, midshipman James McGraw is caned/flogged as a disciplinary measure by his superiors and enjoys it. Bonus if he's A Lot Younger. Could be Admiral Hennessy, could be unnamed rando)

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Thanks again to all our March contributors, y'all have truly knocked it out of the park!! Here's to more unapologetically smutty, kinky fills for April 🥳🥳

[jesssssssssica]

another sad love triangle! ls2 & op81

authors note! i think i managed to make a gn!reader but i'm so sorry if i haven't! also rip logie bear :(

helpless op81

Oscar remembers that night so clearly and so perfectly, as it was the night that he first met you, the love of his life.

One moment he was listening to Logan muttering on and on about how he was destined to get more points as the season went on and then the next, he felt his knees buckle as his eyes got lost in yours. 

And from that point he was helpless, fearing that if his eyes left yours for even a moment, he would lose you in a crowd of people, never to be seen again, leaving him forever looking for the mysterious partygoer.

He had never meant to find the love of his life, in fact, he was expecting anything but, having just recently come out of a relationship that he’d never thought would end, and yet here he was, fawning over a complete stranger. 

How was he meant to know that one moment he would be nodding along to the words Logan to feeling his heart repeatedly pound against his chest the moment that he caught your eye.

Slowly, he eyed the rest of the room, trying to create a mysterious persona, one that would hopefully entice you into coming over and greet him, as he found himself too scared to speak to such a beautiful person as you. Nothing could get in his way. 

Though, in the corner of his eye, he recalled catching his friends lingering eye on the one person that he desperately wanted to speak to, so in an act to protect the supposed love of his life, he leaned in and whispered with a slight pleading tone in his voice. 

“That girl over there is pretty cute, isn’t she? I think I might go and speak to her.” 

“Oh really?” 

And then Logan left, smirking as he went, wandering over to you, grabbing you by the waist and speaking to you, whilst Oscar watched in horror, praying to the heavens above that this wouldn’t go horribly, though all his worries went away when you turned and smiled at him. 

All the pain he had ever felt in the whole 22 years he’d been alive for, all went away the moment that he saw you smile at him, as if you were the person he’d been waiting for all his life.

So he watched, watched as Logan lightly directed you over to where he stood in the corner of the room, watching as Logan rambled on into your ear, which he later learned from you, was complete and utter nonsense, until finally, you were in front of his face. 

“Oscar Piastri, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I know, Y/N Y/L/N, well done on your season so far.”

He had fallen hard. 

“I guess i’ll leave you to it, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

And then it was just the two of them left. 

And from there, their relationship bloomed, sending messages to each other nightly, whether it be silly memes or ranting about annoying coworkers, though everyday your relationship strengthened even if you were continents away from one another. 

Then he remembers, after many months of Logan’s endless teasing of how they could always open up their relationship to involve him, Oscar Piastri found himself in the living room of your parents, cracking his knuckles as his palms became sweaty, waiting anxiously to ask for the blessing of marriage. 

He remembers panicking inside as your father rose from his lounge chair, walking over to him, face stone cold, not letting any emotion through, before chuckling and clasping his hand, shaking hands with him. 

“Don’t ever let her go.”

Oscar would never do such a thing. 

And now here he was, standing across from his beautiful fiance, tears gathering in his eyes, hardly believing his luck that he’d found himself lucky enough to be stood across from his soulmate, grateful that he’d gone to that stupid party that Logan was begging him to attend.

satisfied ls2

Logan Sargeant was happy that Oscar Piastri, his best friend of many years, was getting married to someone he deemed ‘the love of his life’ with a smitten smile on a drunken night out on the town, yet at the same time he wasn’t happy for this union. 

Yet it was too late for any objection, as now he stands with an arm raised, glass in hand, praising the couple with a strained smile on his face, desperately wishing that he was the one that got to stare into your eyes just before bed and hold you beneath the duvet but he can’t, so now he has to watch the happy couple in the shadows.

“A toast to the happy couple!” He exclaims, watching you stare into Oscar’s eyes, not noticing the pain behind the speech-giver's eyes, wishing somehow it were him. 

“A toast to the happy couple!” The guests repeat, all of them collectively cheering at the union of two people who needed each other most, naive of the spiralling best man in front of their eyes. 

“From your best friend Logan, who has always and will always be by your side.” And it’s true because no matter what, no matter how much he craves to be in your arms, he will always be the best friend first. 

“And may you always be…”, he pauses, arm still raised, thinking back to that night, the night, the night he met you, “satisfied.”

He remembers that night all too well as it was a night that he would regret for the rest of his life due to his selfless choices. 

He remembers watching the many beautiful women that would try and capture his attention, none of whom particularly captured his eye, well except for you. 

I mean how could he forget when he had just seen the prettiest person ever, standing in the same room as him, a face that would forever change his life.

Flashback to that night, where he stood at the bar, rambling on to Oscar about how this season would hopefully be filled with more points and luck than the last, when he noticed how out of focus his friend was, who instead of listening along to the rambles of his friend was staring at you. 

If there were one word to summarise how he felt when he first turned his head and looked at your face, it would’ve been enamoured. He was enamoured from first sight and he knew that he would never be completely happy if he didn’t get to know you, but he wasn’t the only one left enamoured by your bright persona, for Oscar was too. So in an act of kindness, he walked over to where you stood until he came face to face with you. 

“Hi” your meek voice said, smiling softly at him.

Oh he was gone, no longer remembering his own name, instead only focusing on your beautiful smile, but he needed to put this aside and give Oscar a chance to explore this possible connection, even if it hurt him.

“Hi now I know you don’t know me but you will, and I think there’s someone I need to introduce you to”, Logan slowly raised his hand over to where Oscar stood, watching your eyes brighten “Now he may seem like some dork, but I think you and him would really get along.”

You smile back at him, laughing slightly at the small insult made at this possible setup.

“Is that so?” 

“Well I'd like to think so.” 

For a moment you just stare at each other as if only you two knew something that the rest of the world didn’t, which technically you did. Unbeknownst to Logan, you’d also found yourself quite taken with the American man, so it came to quite a shock to you when he’d approached you, not with the intentions of setting himself up with you, but instead with the man sat by the bar.

So why was he able to give you up so easily?

How was he able to come to the conclusion that Oscar was going to give you life that you deserved from a conversation that lasted two maybe three minutes, especially when he had managed to charm you in said conversation?

He wished to just whisk you away from this place and run away with you and live a free life with you, without having to worry about anything, but then he saw Oscar’s face. 

Oscar’s face portrayed nothing more than adoration and helplessness for the stranger that stood across the room.

That’s how Logan knew that Oscar would treat her better, because no matter how much Logan tried to convince himself that he could love her and treat her better than Oscar, he couldn’t. Logan knew that Oscar wouldn’t dare find himself falling so quickly and so easily, especially on a night out that he was so reluctant to go to from the beginning, showing to him how deeply in love his friend had fallen.

Because from his face to his eyes to his mannerisms, he could tell he was helpless. 

He knew that if he had been selfish enough to take you away from Oscar, he would just leave his friend feeling lonely and depressed yet faking a smile, because he was one of the kindest people he knew. 

Which is why he knew that could and would never be able to love you in public, hence why the only time he could imagine you in his arms, was at night in the comfort of his own bed. 

But at least Oscar got to and Logan would always love you even from afar.

“So here’s to the happy couple and may they always be satisfied!”

[3liza]

a guy with nothing on his blog called charlessomethingsomething just followed me and only me, sent me a series of messages saying he had been reading my posts for a while and wanted to talk to me etc that didn't SOUND like bot writing but who knows (average DM of this type from an actual human man does not pass the Turing test), so I asked him which came first, ranch or cool ranch, and he's completely vanished. presumably he either blocked me or deleted or was a bot that got reported to death. but 1. I have never gotten a spam bot message me ever (except the past week possibly but different post) and 2. I think(?) a bot would have replied with some GPT nonsense right away instead of letting a question sit in their inbox for hours so I think it was probably a real person who couldn't take the heat.

anyway whether Charles was a bot or not, it got me thinking because I've had more interactions with men like this than any other kind. you have GOT to work on your game if a little 2010s meme nonsense completely derails your attack. I'm not a valid DM-slide target because I'm not on here for dick, myself, but like if I WAS, you're not going to get anywhere just bailing out the first time someone says something silly to you. (sitting backwards in my chair and slapping the back of my hand into the palm of my other hand) listen to me. flirting works on community improv theater rules. you have to be ready to take that pass from left field and run with it. and if I WERE on here for dick I would disqualify applicants who couldn't keep up with clowning. I not only let him hit if he's goofy, i and many others will actively prevent him from hitting if he isn't. on Tumblr you don't have nice forearms or a good shower routine, you're just a thirsty dude with a dumb username and ALL you have is the bants, so they better be good. sorry

[mostlymarvelgirl]

Erik Coming Out To You As Bisexual

• Erik isn’t the most affectionate or kind or open boyfriend and person, but he can always talk to you about his problems and he’ll ask without his usual sass and try to be a good boyfriend.

• He does love and care about you, after all.

• You kind of get worried about him when he sits you down with a serious and no-nonsense face because usually making jokes which are the dad jokes. Historically, it always meant he had bad news. Like that one time he accidentally destroyed one of Charles's office (though it wasn't really an accident). 😉;)

• When he comes out to you, you can see the fear of judgement that he think you'll give him, and he sort of gets pissed off as you have a smirk.

• “You’ll think I’ll treat you any different because you’re bisexual?”, you ask him.

• You don’t give a damn about that. You’re still you. That’s all that matters to him.

• You knows different sexualities exist in the world. Did he think you were so close-minded that you would condemn him for something he's born with? Something he has no control over?

• He thought you would hate the fact that he was so scared and worried coming out to you. From then on you would make sure to let him know how you support him.

• You would definitely try to help him come out to the rest of the xmen, only if he wants to. And of course smack Alex in the head and throw him off the window if he comments anything snarky.

• And you being you, would make him comfortable and teach him about the entire LGBTQIA+ community (which listens to very carefully) and teach him the memes to use once he's comfortable enough. (cause you're a GENZ)

• You being you, aka being dirty minded, would teach him to kinky in bisexual ways.

[dreamerswriter]

Playful Land: How Did We even get This Far?!

So, Ace snuck out of the dorm, grabbed us, and left the school? Riddle is going to have his head.

At this point, you're an idiot. We are going with a stranger to another location! Your dorm leader and classmates have common sense!

I can't believe you're here. Vil, why?!

Same here....

Or, that you are going with a stranger to an unknown location. That, and your other brother died! Yes, he would stop you!

Ok, yes, but again, frick it, you know what I am about to type.

Ok.... Cater, I can excuse. He would do this for the meme and make a post about it. As for Lilia, he should not be ok with this! Lilia, your two closest friends are dead, you have to protect two heirs to the thrones, and should know how dangerous this sounds! You should not be ok with this! Bringing Kalim is a horrible idea!

Jamil might just die. His heart might just give out.

Adimttedly, Azul's reasons are not the greatest, but he had enough sense to not go with a stranger to another location!

He's not going to say that, and what the frick, Jade?

Baker boy is only here to look after his son. He's bascially been preparing himself for this moment. He's smart, has basic health understanding, is an older brother, can cook, and is strong. He is a parent

At least you knew this would happen. Now, bring Ace back! Stop this before we get into more trouble!

Riddle would definitely do something. I don't know what, but it wouldn't be good.

So, it was Deuce who doomed us! How on earth did you listen to the son who is .... not the brightest son in the dorm?!

This is a horrible idea! Why on earth are you willing to do this?! -Gets a flashback and recalls all the nonsense she let her younger sibling get away with- Ok, never mind.

Deuce is going to be his favorite after this.

Leona is the only one with the brain cell....

Thank you... We need you.

I agree with him, especially with Vil and Lila. Sorry Cater, but I can see you doing this.

Please go off prince. I would say king, but he'll never be that.

I agree with Leona! How did you not think twice about this?!

Sure, and asking about the stars program was just an off comment. We are not going to make it. Rollo's flowers may not have taken us, but I am sure Ernesto is going to get us. We are not going to survive. I don't see how. We are doomed.

[robinswrites]

About Me

Hi! My name's Robin, and after years of writing and posting fanfic (on a different account, which I will be continuing with), I've decided to start trying to get my original fiction published. I am A Trans who doesn't much care what pronouns/gendered terms you use for me as long as you're not being deliberately insulting. The various stories I'm writing or want to write vary in genre from fantasy to science fiction and horror, but they're all queer (in different ways, because queerness isn't necessarily approached in SF/F cultures in the same way as in our own, and they don't necessarily fit the often very romance-focussed conventional ideas of what queer rep looks like, but it is present in everything I write).

I am an adult, and my writing is aimed at adults (I've noticed a few people getting their stories labelled as YA when they're really not aimed at that audience at all, so I thought I'd make that clear right from the start), but I'm not writing anything so explicit that I'd object to someone under 18 following me if they're interested in my stories. I will use tags and TWs on my posts--feel free to let me know if I forget.

WIPs

My three main WIPs are novels that I intend to publish (I'm an incurable WIP-hopper and have been alternating between writing bits of each of these for years...), so I'm not going to be posting the stories themselves online, but I will be sharing character and setting info, discussing progress, taking part in the usual writeblr ask events, etc. One is a deliberately over-the-top space opera sci-fi, one is a modern-day fantasy, and the other a mediaeval fantasy. At some point, they might even have titles. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

I'm also sometimes going to be writing short stories and submitting to anthologies and magazines--I'll post updates on where to find any that get accepted.

And at some point soon, a free short story will be going up here as a taster of my work!

I'm also currently doing a major rewrite of the plot outline for a webcomic I initially plotted out as a teenager--once I've got the story to make sense, I'm hoping to start drawing and posting some stuff for that.

What else?

I'm hoping to use this account to follow and get to know other authors, to follow and interact with publishers, take part in any writing events that look interesting--and also to some extent for general blogging.

You'll probably see some reblogs of gifs of films I like, and other mostly-on-topic reblogs (I'm not going to use this account for random memes).

I might share music I've been listening to, or sometimes post about anything interesting I've been doing/places I've been going. I do aim to stick to interesting stuff--I'm not going to be blogging about what I ate for breakfast, but if there's something that I think really would interest SF/F fans and writers, I might do a blog post, especially if I got some cool photos, instead of getting home and thinking too late "I really should have taken some photos of that [supposedly haunted secondhand bookshop / sword I was tempted to buy in an antique shop / whatever]".

Fandom stuff and other "general nonsense" posts and reblogs will stay on my other account.

Looking forward to sharing what I do here on writeblr and getting to know more original fiction writers in this community!

[polyamzeal]

Why do you steal art?

I am going to lose followers for this but I need to for my own mental health. I am so tired of getting harassed by Tumblr punks (because Tumblr is the only place this even happens). There is this narrative that I went to an artist's tumblr page, saved their art, reposted it on my page making sure not to credit the artist I knew, claimed I did the art myself, and then asked people to commission me for more art. When in actuality I came across an uncredited meme on Facebook and thought, "Hey I like the message and I think my followers will like it too. I want to show them." Then I was informed who the artist was so I reblogged it and credited the artist. I said go give them money. Anyone who wants to know who the artist is can easily find it in the notes as the artist has been tagged several times in several different ways. Several people have told me to delete the post yet you know who has not asked me to do so? The artist, @eliasericson. If they are ask me to take it down in any way I will do so with no questions asked. Not a problem. Who I am not going to listen to are random people who think they know what the artist wants and is best for them. The post has over 7,000 notes, that is a lot of people that enjoyed seeing it. But no fuck all those people because opinionated randos think that much exposure for the artist, who again did get credited several times, is going to hurt the artist somehow. No consideration that maybe the artist just wants their message to be heard and affect people while not really caring if they are credited or not for this particular picture. Regardless though I have supported many artist through out the years and have commissioned art from quite a few different artists. But you know what, if I saw an artist's fans were harassing people about stealing art like this I would be far less likely to want to commission them because if there fans are assholes then what does that say about the actual artist? So who is really hurting the artist here?

So in summary, I will do my best to make sure any art, which only seems to be visual art as nobody seems to care about literary art anyways, is properly credited. But no promises that something doesn't accidentally fall through the cracks here and there. I do greatly appreciate when someone POLITELY points who the artist is and I can let people know. But any further rude mean asks or notes will just be ignored. I have so many more important asks that deserve my attention and effort way more than this childish nonsense.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Alright here are ten more albums. These ones are just my personal picks. Some that you prolly don't know and some you definitely do. I think you should listen to all of them because I like them a lot and if you don't like them then I promise I will cry a little.

Lemon Demon - Spirit Phone

Okay so I know that half of you just checked out because this is a 'meme album' and you simply will not take me seriously no matter what but honestly if that's you then go fuck yourself. Anyway Neil Cicierega is an internet fixture. He has brought us animutation, The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny, Mouth Sounds, Potter Puppet Pals, Brodyquest, Ariel Needs Legs, and probably a lot of other things I'm forgetting. So it isn't really a surprise that his first full album under the Lemon Demon moniker in a decade went down as a piece of weird internet errata as well. The thing is, Spirit Phone is a fucking masterpiece.

The subject matter is the occult, conspiracy theories, urban legends, aliens, cryptids, and conservatives. Nothing too weird, but the way he tackles these subjects is. Let's take Cabinet Man for example, it plays on the urban legend of the haunted arcade cabinet Polybius. But Cabinet Man is told from the point of view of the machine itself. It's about a man who turns himself into an arcade cabinet and about his life as an arcade cabinet. The very next track, No Eyed Girl, is a doo wop styled love song written to a lovecraftian horror. And yes this is all very Quirky™ but Cicierega never wink at the camera, he never lets on that this is a joke. Just like unironically here's a song about sexualizing (even if he insists it isn't sexual) eating mummies. Why not? The frenetic pacing always keeps you off balance too so there is no way to get used to the weirdness other than to let yourself be subsumed by it.

"But wait!" I hear you saying "what was that thing about conservatism? What does that have to do with the occult?" I'm glad you asked because I think the funniest thing this album does is deliver three songs in a row that have nothing to do with the rest of the album's main themes. As Your Father I Expressly Forbid It, I Earned My Life, and Reaganomics all satirize American boomer conservatism. I think putting them there after all the conspiracy theory stuff is brilliant. The paranoid, surreal attitudes of the first half of the album contrasted against the equally paranoid and surreal attitudes of conservatives. Finally I just want to mention my number one favorite thing about this album and it's that I Earned My Life is written in the style of Paul Simon's Graceland. That makes me laugh. What an effortless takedown of a legendary artist and album.

Ween - The Mollusk

Ween are a pretty weird band. And my standards for what counts as weird are pretty high. So the fact that their least weird album is this nautically themed psychedelic hellscape isn't saying much. The Mollusk sounds how low tide smells. The album is like the rhyme of the ancient mariner but the albatross is replaced by hundreds of barnacles. It is a decaying mess, but it's also jaunty and fun. Purely stupid nonsense like Waving My Dick In The Wind and Dancing In The Show Tonight are placed side by side with the intense and horror tinged Golden Eel and Mutilated Lips.

Musically Ween are uncharacteristically cohesive. Sure they run the gamut of genres from intense proggy numbers to punk and alternative rock and some showtunesy stuff, but it's all mastered as wet as possible. By the way y'all know when I say a sound is wet I mean heavily processed as opposed to dry which is raw unprocessed audio right? There is copious reverb, chorus and especially phasing on every song until they all sound like waves crashing against a rock.

Perhaps the weirdest thing about The Mollusk is that it is, I think at least, the only Ween album to contain a straight cover. Cold Blows The Wind is just a folk song that Gener and Deaner just play dead straight. That is very unusual for a band that prefers to vaguely mock artists or styles rather than just do them. Of course that track is immediately followed by a song called Pink Eye On My Leg so don't take these guys seriously for too long.

Atom And His Package - A Society Of People Named Elihu

There is no other album that feels more like an inside joke among high schoolers that you aren't privy to the context for. Adam Goren repeatedly name drops his friends and talks about things very specific to his life. The album is a mess of unfettered id where no concept is dwelt on for very long and no hesitation is given before launching into something completely unrelated. The very first track contemplates a hypothetical Punk Rock Academy before losing track of itself and barreling full throttle into an interpolation of Eddie Money's Take Me Home Tonight. This kind of thing happens a lot. Me And My Black Metal friends interpolated Dexys Midnight Runners' hit Come On Eileen for no apparent reason other than that is what started going through Goren's head at the time. This album has three different birthday songs on it, the first of which has the refrain "Happy Birthday Ralph, I love you, even though you are fucking disgusting." Who is Ralph? You aren't asking the right questions.

Oh yeah and this album is entirely just a guy singing over a drum machine and keyboard. But it's also kind of a punk rock album. Atom And His Package don't sound super punk at first glance, but he has the ethos. And structurally, well there's a little more punk rock in here than you might expect. I'll stand by A Society Of People Named Elihu as a punk rock album because it's funny and I think that is what Adam Goren would want.

TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain

There's a lot of art rock out there that I'm totally in love with. But TV On The Radio are on a different level. They are extremely catchy, but also different than anything else around them. They exist somewhere in between 00s post punk revival and, uh honestly I don't know. I thought something would come to me as I was typing this. There is nothing to compare the unique use of drums and percussion to create both rhythmic and textural elements while the bass guitar makes up the majority of the melody. The members of the band all harmonize beautifully on vocals and when you break the songs down you find just a few instruments being layered into a looping, spiraling current of sound. A Method and Dirtywhirl especially sound like they are physically spiralling. They use looped percussion and bass, repetitive singsong vocals, and thrumming rhythms to create a completely unique sonic landscape that is both overwhelming and extremely addictive. It is too easy for me to finish this album and then put it back on again because there is nothing else that scratches the itch this album gives me.

Between The Buried And Me - Colors

I don't usually like to be this absolute, but Colors is my favorite metal album. Between The Buried And Me are consistently amazing but Colors is the best showcase of their range and fluidity with which they traverse various styles. At a base level Colors is a progressive metalcore album, a genre which has probably just turned a few people off of listening. But if you aren't usually into metalcore don't fear there is a lot more going on here than bad screaming and bad chugging. No BTBAM weave together intense thrash like riffing, high speed guitar solos, intense screaming, melodic jazzy solos, chromatic breakdowns, catchy clean vocal segments and frequent tempo changes with an artistry and ease that makes it hard to notice when the style does an abrupt change. Every linking segment is so natural that the tech death screams in Sun Of Nothing will transition to the melodic refrain without any sense of tonal dissonance. Even when you hit the end of Ants Of The Sky and hear them go into a full bluegrass hoedown it is just completely natural. No other album makes 10+ minute songs go by so fast. There are so many hour long metal albums out there that drag on for the sake of length alone and Colors just shits in their faces and proves that you can go on for an hour and keep an audience completely engaged the whole time.

They Might Be Giants - Lincoln

They Might Be Giants are a never ending supply of witty turns of phrase. Some are seemingly nonsequiturs like "tour the world in a heavy metal band / but they run out of gas the plane can never land" others are clever "which one of us is the one we can't trust / you say that I think it's you but I don't agree with that" and others seem like nonsense but probably mean something deeper if you just stop and think about it "how sleepless is the egg knowing that which throws the stone foresees the bone, the bone, our only home is bone". They will get at some wild themes lyrically while still maintaining an upbeat sound. That weird tonal gap is what makes songs like I've Got A Match and They'll Need A Crane into more than just songs about bad relationships. It helps obfuscate the actually bleakness of Lie Still Little Bottle, a song about being addicted to uppers. And it leaves you wondering about the seemingly pure goofy songs like Shoehorn With Teeth and Cowtown. Also you might be interested to know that Where Your Eyes Don't Go is a favorite song of local Tumblr Celebrity™ Neil Gaiman. So there's your seal of approval if you needed one.

Macintosh Plus - Floral Shoppe

Vaporwave is such a beautiful genre. It is a musical consomme where other songs are melted down until there is nothing left but the essence of the original piece. A distinctly recognizable flavor, but rendered into broth. The idea of taking a song and picking out very specific bits and then slowing them down repeating them over and over until you have turned the ten second sample into a five minute song is incredible.

Floral Shoppe is not the first, and maybe not even the best vaporwave record, but it is the blueprint that a lot of artists would seek to imitate. The track リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Lisa Frank 420 / modern computing) made some waves for having a very overt and recognizable sample and leading to people joking that the genre was just "Diana Ross slowed down". And derogatory as that sounds it is also true. The song is seven minutes of just the chorus of Diana Ross' It's Your Move looped, slowed down, and otherwise abused until it just isn't the same song anymore. What Floral Shoppe did was bring the idea of the transformative property of context to a wider audience. The question of authorship is essential to vaporwave. Most vaporwave artists will use one off monikers for albums. In fact Macintosh Plus is a one off project under the larger Vektroid umbrella. Vektroid herself is one of the most prolific and significant vaporwave artists out there and honestly I don't even think Floral Shoppe is her best work, but it is the most important.

But is it good? That's the real question. The philosophical implications of art are nice and all but is it good to listen to? Yeah it's extremely enjoyable. Listening to Floral Shoppe is like living in a slightly fucked up betamac tape that is playing commercials for new shopping malls. It captures a sense of nostalgia, but also warps it into a surreal dreamscape. Parts stutter, they loop just before the part of the song you know plays, they are repeated over and over until you feel like something is wrong. The nostalgia is recontextualized as something artificial. Like it is reminding you that the way you feel about the past is manufactured. Your memories are already corrupted by capitalism and if you could see through the matrix you would hear the broken mechanisms underneath.

The Field - From Here We Go Sublime

The Field is hard to pin down. While basically a tech-house project it is also quite a bit unlike other tech-house/minimal/ambient techno projects. I was enthralled the first time I ever put on this record. There's something ethereal about the heavily altered vocal samples. Every sound rendered distant and breathy. This is the sound of the sun glaring off of fresh snow in the winter. This is the sound that plays when you transcend your human body to become a being of pure energy. If the obelisk from 2001 A Space Odyssey was a DJ this is what it would play. It is impossible to not feel subsumed by this music, to want to just close your eyes and imagine you are floating. From Here We Go Sublime is one of the prettiest albums I have ever heard and I think even people who aren't into techno might be able to appreciate it.

The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free

Look me in the eye. I'm serious look at me. Mike Skinner is a good rapper. No I'm not joking. No I don't like this album "ironically". A Grand Don't Come For Free is one of my top ten hip hop albums of all time. Right up there with Nas and J-Dilla and Kanye and shit. Skinner's flow is unconventional and, at first glance, very bad. But what he is doing is incorporating a very casual conversational style into his rapping to help communicate the personalities and moods of the characters in the story.

Oh yeah by the way this is a concept album. It's about Mike, his two friends Dan and Scott, and his new girlfriend Simone. Mike loses 1000 pounds, gets really paranoid that one of his friends stole it, and then let's that paranoia ruin all of his interpersonal relationships. The album starts by setting up the list money and various aspects of Mike's life like his new romance and gambling addiction to set up the very everyman vibes. As Mike rambles through awkward small talk, bad decisions, bad relationships, and the slow burn out of his empathy he becomes actually really relatable. Every time Mike does something that is frustrating and stupid it just kinda endears him to me. I want to see this idiot do better. Even on Get Out Of My House where he is trying to explain to Simone that he wasn't at her place while she was hungover because he was picking up his epilepsy medication and is, by any reasonable account in the right, he sucks so hard at making his point that he still comes off as the asshole. This is punctuated by guest rapper C-Mone actually rapping much better than Mike on her verses. In fact how well a character is rapping is very much tied to how confident they are at the moment with Mike being more noticeably on beat on Not Addicted and Such A Twat and sounding really off on Get Out Of My House and It Was Supposed To Be So Easy.

The beats are not just straightforward things for Skinner to rap weird style over though. The beats often contain weird syncopation and odd rhythms that make it feel like rather than not being able to stay on beat the vocals and the beat are just circling around each other. Always in sync but never knowing each other's exact location. The way these two elements come together creates the backbone for A Grand Don't Come For Free's atmosphere of disorientation and lack of control. Mike's story is ultimately about him trying to latch onto any part of his life that he thinks he can control and constantly having those things slip away from him. He finds the £1000 in the back of his broken TV by the way.

The Mountain Goats - Beat The Champ

I got into The Mountain Goats way back when Moral Orel was airing it's infamous third season back in 08. I listened to John Darnielle's entire discography even the very rough first couple of tapes. And after all that I was pretty sure that this was my new favorite band and that no album anyone released were ever gonna top All Hail West Texas, Tallahassee, or The Sunset Tree. Fast forward seven years and I see he's working on a new album. It's gonna be about wrestling. I figure it will be pretty good, because Mountain Goats albums basically bottom out at pretty good. So the album releases, I listen to it, and instantly I know that I have forever been changed. I don't know how many times one man can keep doing this to me, but by God was I changed. I'm kinda into wrestling now as a direct result of this album.

The beauty of Darnielle's writing is that he can tease the meaning out of literally anything. Mountain Goats song don't have grand concepts. Beat The Champ's songs can be summed up easily. "Retired wrestler drives to the next show" "a biography of a wrestler that Darnielle liked as a kid" "a biography of a different wrestler that Darnielle liked as a kid" "a guy who takes his gimmick too seriously". But this isn't what the songs are about. They are about feeling tired of routine and being resigned to the fact that this will be the rest of your life. They are about how the world looks through the eyes of a child. They are about finding fulfillment in life even once you have passed your prime. They are about shutting out your emotions until you become a toxic person. These songs aren't about wrestling, but also they are. Beat The Champ made me think about how difficult pro wrestling is. You need a hyperapecific skill set that includes acting, athletics, acrobatic, and improv. And then if you are the absolute best at all those things hing and end up being the best wrestler ever? Well no one really respects pro wrestling so you get fuck all for it. The strange place these people occupy and the emotions that come with it are the perfect vessel for analyzing human experience at large. Wrestling, John Darnielle posits, is a microcosm for all life. We all play parts, we do heel turns now and then, we all fear being unmasked. Wrestlers deal with literal manifestations of human fear and Beat The Champ taps into that to create an album that both comments on human anxieties in a very real way and to humanize the people behind the kayfabe.

[grodyego]

oc duo ask game: 😇 for nemo and catalina, 👿 for rakesh and vega

😇- What’s their best trait?

for catalina saying that she likes nemo because he "acts nice" or "he's genuine" would be disingenuous; from her perspective its easy and unchallenging to be perfectly "nice" and she's seen the more selfish and disgusting side of very earnest actions pretty consistently (she also tends to look down her nose at people she considers gullible). so for her she likes that nemo is attentive, especially toward her, in a way that does not make her want to claw her skin off or gouge his eyes out, and thus she finds their interactions surprisingly and pleasantly mundane.

nemo was born with a stutter that he maintains thanks to many years of speech therapy only really emerges when hes very nervous; the trouble is that nemo is always quite nervous, especially when he's forced to be around or talk to other people. most people are not particularly patient with his inability to get through a sentence without restarting it partway through, so he really enjoys catalina's patience in that regard, and is amazed by how easily it seems to come to her. he likes that from his end it feels like she's really listening to him and not counting down the seconds until it's her "turn" to speak.

👿- What’s their worst trait?

while vega is correct that rakesh does work himself up over things that are really inconsequential and even nonsensical pretty often (all while being nonchalant about things that should definitely raise his hackles more), her perspective of this flaw is somewhat skewed because he tends to fuss over her especially, sometimes for legitimate reasons, but just as often because he's sticking his nose into her business.

likewise rakesh is also right that vega is also avoidant of admitting when she's wrong about something to the point of it becoming dangerous and insane, but his perspective of her stubbornness is also greatly exaggerated because he actually started out in T.A.R.G.I.T. as her "lab assistant", and is kind of unfairly letting his memories of when she was first working there and also 17 color his judgement of it a little.

(oc duo ask meme !!)

[ashton-ryder]

bold what applies to your muse, italicize situational ones. feel free to add your own suggestions and carry it on.

tagged by: stolen from zach

tagging: steal it from zach

VOICE HC / MEME

► ACCENT  

“country” │ “backwoods” │ “sailor” │ “upper class” │ "small town" │ “city slicker” | foreign speaker │ refined  

► ELOQUENCE

educated │self-taught | uneducated | doesn’t use conjunctions │ shortens words | omits entire words on occasion | mixes up words │ just makes up their own words! │ archaic english │ dependent on mood or setting | doesn’t use contractions

► TONE

loud │ soft │ room volume │ high pitched │ low pitched │ steady | seductive │velvety │ speech impediment │ abrasive │ gruff │ shrill │ booming │ matter-of-fact │ toneless │ husky ��� intimidating │gravelly │ breathy │ nasal │ vocal fry │ chatty │ condescending │ musical │ sarcastic │ suave │ world-weary │ brash │ no nonsense │ authoritative

► HABITS  

refers to self in third person│ incorporates different languages/terms/sayings │ uses gender-specific terms │ adapts to audience │ changes tone around animals or children │ shifts tone when lying │ gives others nicknames │ uses terms of respect towards others

► OTHER BITS

He lives in a softer vocal range, measured, steady and unassuming voice, making subtle sarcastic jokes and seemed like a quiet man until situation calls for it.

Such as when he's teaching a class or training recruits or on a mission or working, his voice can boom across a room and when he speaks like that, people listen.

He's been trying to wane off the habit more over the few years, but sometimes he still slips into the habit of using military terms, calling the hours by the hundreds, and only really catches himself when someone looks at him funny.

He's a very quiet laugher, a chuckle here, a scoff there, but if you're lucky to either have known him when he was younger or heard him with his guard down, he has a very charming, melodic laughter if it ever slips out with the brightest smiles, it's much rarer as he grew older, but it used to be known as the thing that draws people in.

He actually likes shortening names or using family names as nicknames a lot, a habit picked up from the marines, he responds to Ryder as quickly as he responds to Ashton or Ash.

He's a little bit tone death, please don't ask him to sing or hum, it won't be pretty. He unfortunately did not inherit his mom's lovely singing voice, perhaps just a powerful booming voice for other things, like yelling at recruits.

The way he talks about the stars and the sky and space, there is a special endearing tone it his words, soft, humbling, full of wander and curiosity, the reminder of their insignificance on a tiny rock in space.

He becomes especially quiet when he drinks, similar to every time he goes quiet, a lot is running through his head. But when he drinks, it numbs everything out, as if finally enjoying the numbing silence while he still could, before reality comes rushing back at him.

► VOICE CLAIM REFERENCE:

tw: video reference below contains mentions of abuse (and also tw for my heart for luke mitchell crying)